New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
