He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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