The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
