why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
