lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize