Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
