So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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