I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am available for nakedness
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
