how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
