I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I touched a dick in church today
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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