after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
