we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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