We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
