At least make sure they are 18
Why
Define "chronic" masturbator.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
