Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
