It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
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Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
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I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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