i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Randomize
