i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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