she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At least make sure they are 18
Why
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
