Little spoons don't ask big questions
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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