I can text with my tongue
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
