what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
