i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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