we're blogging at a bar
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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