My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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