I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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