Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
