i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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