Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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