you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize