how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
