just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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