i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
