i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I see more hoeing in ur future
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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