I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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