Where did you get a picture of my penis
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize