idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
