i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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