Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
