If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
