Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
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We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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