Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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