i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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