we have officially lost it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
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Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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