Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend