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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.