so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics