It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There was a lot of him and a little penis
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on