can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.