i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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