do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
