I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
