omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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