Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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