Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
