Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
