i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Text me some of your sweat
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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