I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's official drugs can't kill me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
