I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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